The Daily Overdose of Logic for Wednesday, 19 October 2011: Herman Cain's Flying Circus

The idea that Herman Cain has a very real chance to become the next Republican candidate for President of the United States continues to utterly bewilder me. The man's "9-9-9" tax proposal is beyond preposterous--akin to using a disgusting parasite to lose weight, it would cause more than four out of five American households to owe more than they currently do. He has never held elective office at any level. He still seems to genuinely believe that the War in Iraq was a good idea. As chairman of the Kansas City Federal Reserve (now there's an indication of sound monetary policy, eh?), he apparently "missed" every warning sign of the worst economic disaster in 75 years. And his pizza? Meh.

But then, I suppose my confusion might stem from the assumption that the Republican Party still makes the tiniest whit of sense whatsoever, which seems not to be the case. Rick Perry says that creationists are just like Galileo. Among the many things Michele Bachmann does not know is, apparently, the fact that Libya is in Africa. Mitt Romney, true to his Stepfordian appearance, has some minor skeletons in his closet that are causing him some major headaches; worse, the most "Presidential" of the Republican candidates looked utterly petulant in his slapfights with Perry last night. Jon Huntsman is a sober, experienced governor and diplomat with a keen understanding of global geopolitics who believes that global warming is real--and he is not considered remotely in the running. Rick Santorum is Rick Santorum. And poor Ron Paul has been successfully marginalized (again) despite being the only candidate with a serious debt reduction plan (hint to the other candidates: going overseas and killing lots of brown people is a hell of a lot more expensive than, you know, not).

In short, the Republican Party, with sudden front-runner Herman Freaking Cain, has become a Monty Python routine--namely, the "Job Interview" sketch.

The American people are Graham Chapman's applicant, completely unclear as to what's going on or why they are in this situation. The Republican Party is John Cleese's interviewer, engaging in ever more outrageous shenanigans as a sick joke. And that's why I have no particular interest in last night's debate or in any of the internecine absurdity that lies between here and the Republican Convention; Huntsman and Paul, the only candidates who are possessed of a) a decent platform and b) two brain cells to rub together (not counting Gary Johnson, but then, nobody's counting Gary Johnson), have no hope--because they're far too respectable.

In case you missed it: I spent enough time on the Gilad Shalit hoopla yesterday, but two items bear mentioning before we move on. First, over at the National Journal, Yochi Dreazen contrasts Israel's persistent lobbying efforts on Shalit's behalf and ecstasy over his return with the complete indifference of the American people and government toward their soldiers held as enemy combatants abroad, like Ahmed Altaie and Bowe Bergdahl (who? exactly). Dreazen works hard not to make a normative judgment, so I'll do it for him: America's way is the more prudent, because it keeps the nation in a stronger bargaining position, and the more morally defensible, because it does not involve making substantial concessions to an enemy (and, often, terrorists at that) in order to reap naught but psychic benefits. Meanwhile, Ernesto Londono writes in the Washington Post that the Shalit deal is a substantial coup for Hamas; I'm on the fence, and in the Jerusalem Post, David Rosenberg thinks that whatever gains Hamas has made from the Shalit deal will be short-lived, but as I wrote yesterday, there is no doubt that the Hamas leadership wakes up this morning feeling pretty good about itself--which, in and of itself, raises a red flag.

In other insufficiently logical news:

Depravity: The Philadelphia home imprisonment case just gets more and more horrifying by the day. In addition to the four mentally handicapped adults who were removed from what can be accurately characterized as a dungeon, Philadelphia police say they have also taken into protective custody ten children, who were being held by the same deranged psychopath (allegedly a woman named Linda Weston and her boyfriend--and I say allegedly because I'm not Nancy Fucking Grace), but at a different location. One wonders how much worse this can get. (One also wonders how much the fourteen people rescued so far really appreciate their restored freedom, seeing as now they have to go back to living in, you know, Philadelphia.)

World: It has not been a good day for Mediterranean European countries. First came the news that Moody's downgraded Spain's credit (after both S&P and Fitch did the same last week) by two notches, which comes as no surprise to those of us who pay attention--Spain's response to its ever-worsening debt and public spending crises make the U.S. Congress look positively resolute. In Greece, a massive general strike, protesting tax increases, wage cuts, and public sector layoffs--all of which are sorely needed in that dysfunctional country--precipitated a major confrontation between police and protesters (complete with tear gas, rock-throwing, and fire!) on the very steps of the parliament building in Athens. (It is a sign of the times in Greece, which is well on its way to becoming a Third World country, that Prime Minister George Papandreou, by trying to use whatever economic means necessary to save his nation, has probably cost himself any chance at retaining his office.) Finally, in Turkey, the separatist Kurdish Workers Party killed at least 24 army soldiers in an attack near the Iraqi border. The incident could hardly come at a worse time for the Powers That Be in Ankara, who must feel as though they are being assailed from all sides.

Technology: The latest version of Android, delightfully named Ice Cream Sandwich, supposedly has a rather interesting new feature--you can unlock it just by looking at it, thanks to built-in facial recognition software. The problem? Google itself is basically warning people away from using it, calling it "low-security and experimental," and during an on-stage demonstration of the Samsung Galaxy Nexus (the first phone to carry Ice Cream Sandwich), the feature utterly failed. I'm starting to think that those who believe Google is losing its touch may have a point. (But, hey, native Google Plus integration! Everybody needs that, right?)

Science and business: Of note to soon-to-be graduates of Northwestern University's chemical and biomedical engineering departments (of whom I know more than a few), northern Illinois-based Abbott Labs plans to spin off its pharmaceutical division into a separate company. While many pharmaceutical makers have had a rough go of it lately, largely due to patent expiration, Abbott has seen strong performance, but is currently struggling to brave a nasty legal battle over drug marketing. I have a big soft spot for Abbott, which does a lot of good for the Northwestern community; though the company's Quesos Grandes assure us this is just a risk mitigation move, it strikes me as a bit worrisome. There is more here than meets the eye.

Colorado: Boulder-based biotech firm miRagen Therapeutics has concluded an R&D deal with French giant Laboratoires Servier to develop drugs to fight cardiovascular disease. The deal could be worth as much as $352 million, which is twenty times as much as all of the venture capital miRagen has raised since being launched four years ago and amounts to just shy of $18 million per miRagen employee. If you're brilliant, want to get pants-shittingly rich, and aren't afraid of a little (or a big) risk, This the Finest of All States is the place for you.

Anti-depressant: I am normally not a great fan of Al-Jazeera, but if you haven't already read Belen Fernandez's taking Thomas Friedman down a peg or eight, go do it. Right now. It's glorious, and will leave a smile on your face all day. (The thing that really makes Fernandez's utter annihilation so perfect is that she makes little, if any, effort to hide her outright contempt for Friedman. You speak for us all, Ms. Fernandez.)